


Self Indulgent BS: The Saga

by ephemeralcognomen



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 100 percent self indulgent bullshit, Cecaelia Sans, Classic Sans - Freeform, Drabbles, F/M, Female Reader, First Kiss, Fluff, HorrorTale Sans (kinda), Nightmare Sans AU, No Plot, Obsessive Sans, Octopus Sans, Paralysis (AU Nightmare Sans) - Freeform, Pining, Semi Wholesome, Seriously Fluffy, Stalker Sans, gender neutral reader, grab your panties motherfuckers, lots of fluff, only skeleton, sans/reader - Freeform, soft, the short gremlin man, word vomit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralcognomen/pseuds/ephemeralcognomen
Summary: i like sans. i like drabbles.let's Philip DeFranco.(these are all individual stories, none of these are connected unless stated otherwise!!)
Relationships: Sans/Reader
Comments: 83
Kudos: 93





	1. goddam pink fluffy socks-

**Author's Note:**

> Sans stalks you. Charming.
> 
> !!! reader is female in this one !!!

Sans was in the mood. Not the sexual one. 

He was having that feeling of.... wanting to smother you in love and attention. That mood.

Maybe it was the fact that your period was coming up, and the hormones were driving him crazy? Maybe it was how adorable you constantly looked? Maybe it was just him being a crazy, obsessive weirdo?

Whatever it was, he was in it. The Mood.

He was at your house, outside your window, turned invisible. You were sat in bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows and blankets, happily nestled inside the mess of comfort, wearing the _cutest_ pink fluffy socks to keep your feet warm.

Fuck, did he want to kiss you. Want to press his (admittedly weird) lips against yours, want to hear the little humming noises you'd make...

You laughed at something on the computer on your lap, the sweet sound of your giggles bringing a sigh from Sans' mouth. The window was open (Which considering the fact that you were trying to stay warm, and outside was cold, made no sense, but he wasn't complaining) so he could hear your every movement. You had headphones in though, so you didn't hear him.

He wanted to cuddle you _so bad._ Snuggle up with you in your little blanket nest. Kiss you probably, on your neck and shoulders and cheeks and _definitely_ your lips. Those soft, pink, perfect lips...

Goddamn this stupid mood.


	2. blue marigolds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very spooky boy left you flowers.  
> You don't know that though.
> 
> !!! gender neutral reader in this one !!!

The happy trill of birdsong echoed around you as you wandered your way through the forest. Small blotches of sunlight lit up the woods around you, and every so often you'd hear a small rustling in the bushes of some small animal. 

  
You hummed to yourself, swinging your flower-filled wicker basket as you walked. _Today has been a very successful flower-gathering trip_ , you thought to yourself. 

Something in the corner of your eye caught your attention.

A small, definitely new patch of flowers, unlike any you'd ever seen before.

You walked over and crouched down next to it, intrigued. They were similar to marigolds in shape, but instead of the familiar butter yellow, these flowers were a gorgeous ombre of blues. Deep blues and navies, to almost white frost blues and wonderful ocean turquoises, seeming to sparkle in the sunlight. 

They were gorgeous. But... your basket was full.

You knew you'd never forgive yourself if you left them. They were so, _so_ pretty, but you had no space for any more flowers and realistically you could just come back tomorrow but you _really wanted them..._

You grabbed a stem of one and plucked it from the patch, sliding it behind your ear. There! Satisfied, you got up and returned to walking home, mentally bookmarking this spot for tomorrow.

...

...You had taken the flower.

Sans was giddy with excitement as he watched you skip away from the flower patch.

_You took it._

He didn't bother trying to hide the thrilled glow of his soul. Silently, he followed you through the trees, almost drooling in anticipation.

You, the delicate, perfect little angel, had accepted his mating gift. He still couldn't get over it. You had taken it! That means you want to be his mate, right?! 

Stars, you _accepted!_ He had spent so long on those flowers too, getting them the right colour and shape, perfecting them to make sure you'd love them. And you did!!

Ooh, he was gonna be so good to you, he was gonna be such a good mate...

He followed you all the way to the outskirts of the forest where your little cottage sat. It was a quaint, cozy place, perfectly suited to someone as adorable as you. Sans watched as you opened the door and slip inside.

Excitedly, he rushed over too your door, soul thumping in elation as he turned the door-handle, so, _so_ very ready to finally meet you, and hold you, and love you and-

Oh. The door's locked.

Maybe you... didn't expect him coming so soon? So you locked the door?

Yeah! Okay, that makes sense, alright... he'll just have to knock.

_Knock Knock._

He heard some shuffling and the turning of a lock, then the door opened. Your precious, slightly confused face stared up at him. He couldn't help but smile.

All of the colour left your face. You looked super sickly all of a sudden(?!) You wobbled in place for a few seconds, your hands suddenly starting to shake.

That's not good. Are you scared? Nervous maybe? "..you okay?" he asked, keeping his voice soft so not to spook you.

Very shakily you nodded, took a small breath, and promptly collapsed onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha guess who's back
> 
> real talk, i actually kind of struggle with writing because i read really fast, and it makes me feel like everything i write is super short and my pacing sucks, but everyone i show says it's okay and i just ????  
> what i mean is tell me if this sucks because i don't know if it does.
> 
> take your meds if you have any and goodnight.


	3. blue marigolds (mini part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small continuation of the previous chapter.

Sans... wasn't sure how to react.

You had collapsed. Right in front of him. Smack-dab onto the floor.

Were you okay..? The fall looked painful...

He crouched down next to you and tentatively poked your shoulder. Nothing.

Is this normal for humans? To pass out when they meet their soulmate for the first time?

Maybe it was a shock thing. Your delicate little soul not being able to handle the pure euphoria of finally being united with its other half?

_alright,_ he thought, _that makes sense. yeah._

With that mental validation, he picked you up off of the floor (oh god you're so _small_ _-_ ) and gently carried you inside, closing the door behind him with his foot.

He sat down on the couch with you, pulling your much smaller body up against his and tucking your head under his chin, cuddling you. A clawed hand made its way to the back of your head, the soft fibers of your hair tickling at the spaces between his phalanges (making sure not to snag anything or scratch your head). He began to purr, the deep rumbling soothing your soul even as your body lay unconscious.

This was nice. Peaceful. _Right._

Sans' eyelight wandered around the room, taking in the shelves lined with pretty flowers and trinkets, the thick rug on the floor, the colourful blanket hanging on the back of the sofa...

With his free hand, Sans gently pulled the blanket down over the both of you, trying his best to make sure his claws didn't snag or rip it. 

It smelled like you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't really a part two i just felt like adding a little more   
> (also one of y'all wanted it and i live to serve)


	4. goopy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Paralysis have a d̶a̶t̶e̶ nice friendly time reading together.
> 
> !!gender neutral reader y'all!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paralysis belongs to Squid_In_A_Top_Hat
> 
> this is a very short drabble

You padded your way down the beach, hopping over the sparsely scattered rocks that dotted your path, your bag swinging along with you.

"Goopy?" you called, again, looking around for any sign of movement.

"Goo-"

"jeez, are you always this loud?" you heard a voice ask.

You spun around. "Goopy!!" you exclaimed, smiling at the giant figure lounging in a rock pool behind you. You happily waved at him, one of his tentacles waving back (with less enthusiasm).

he chuckled, watching you bound up the rocks towards him. "what did i say about calling me that?"

You sat down on the rock beside him, plopping your bag next to you. "I think it's genius," you say as you toe off your sandals and dip your feet into the warm water of the pool.

He rolls his eyelights, giving a sarcastic 'sure' in response. He finally takes notice of the bag at your side and reaches an arm out to rifle through it.

"Don't you get anything wet," you warned him as he finally worked out the drawstring, "I got some new stuff for you today. More history books of course, but there's some poetry scattered in there as well."

You smiled at your companion as his eyelights enlarged with joy. He pulled out a thick book, one you recognized as one of the Ancient Greek History ones, and also fished out his reading glasses, happily propping it up against a rock and getting right to reading.

You grinned. It will never fail to amuse you just how much this giant skeletal octopus monster loves reading. You pulled your bag onto your lap and took out a pre-prepared sandwich, as well as your own novel of choice. 

Neither you nor him decided to mention the tentacle wrapped around your leg as the two of you read in peaceful silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love you squid no homo <333
> 
> hope i wrote your boy right


	5. lazy day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of pining on a calm summer's day. (Discontinued Fic Chapter)
> 
> !! gender neutral reader !!

You woke up gently, the sunshine bleeding through the blinds and cascading over your face. Groaning softly, you rolled over, your pile of blankets coming with you.

Clumsily, you roused yourself awake and wriggled your way out of your blanket nest. You eyed the outfit you had laid out the night before on your dresser, but you didn’t bother with getting dressed. That could be handled after food.

The soft morning light illuminated your path as you padded your way down the hall towards the kitchen, your socked feet quiet on the wooden floor. Quietly, you rounded the corner into the kitchen, eyes landing on the huge figure against the kitchen counter, back to you.

“Morning Sans,” You said through a yawn, shuffling to his side.

“…mornin’.” He replied. He was stirring a bowl full of something with slow, methodical movements, a half full carton of eggs among the several ingredients scattered around him.

“Omelettes?” You asked, getting a silent nod in response.

“Can I help?” Another nod, and a head twitch in the direction of the cupboard. He probably wanted you to grab the pan out.

You had just placed it on the counter when you felt Sans from beside you. You handed the pan over to him and skipped over to the fridge, grabbing the orange juice and pouring yourself a cup.

Leaning back against the bench, you watched him work.

♡ 🍰 ♡

“Do you wanna do anything today?”

  
Sans shook his head, not looking up from the book on his lap. Breakfast had finished long ago, and the two of you were currently chilling on the couch.

You sighed, continuing to scroll through your phone. The sky outside was a soft blue, gently pulling creampuff clouds along with it. A warm breeze blew through the open window. With it came birdsong and the occasional bark of a nearby dog.

It was peaceful.

…You didn’t like it.

Huffing loudly in frustration, you shuffled in your seat, the only way to expend your energy. You loved spending quality time inside with friends, but you want _do_ things! Activities! Fun stuff!

You and Sans were polar opposites in this regard. Sans could and probably would spend the rest of his days lounging around at home, completely content. _You_ however definitely could not. There were things you could do, sights you could see, activities to be done! No point in sitting around!

Alas, today was an off day. No chores, no work… the only option you had was chill.

You huffed a little louder, prompting Sans to look up at you.

“…what.”

“I’m bored,” you whined. He shrugged, returning to his book. Mentally, you cursed him.

With a little bit of anger, you continued scrolling through your feed. Pets, environment posts, diet shakes, more pets…

“Oh!” You jumped up a little, a certain post catching you eye. Sans gave you an inquisitive look.

“Wanna do some origami with me?” You asked, eyeing the intricate swan on your screen. “It’s like paper folding where you can make cool shapes and stuff.”

He nodded, smiling at your sudden enthusiasm. You got up, rushing over to your room to go grab some paper. If your memory serves you right you should have some specifically made origami paper laying around somewhere…

Aha! You snatched the wad of colourful paper from under a stack of old books, carefully smoothing out the crinkles and skipping out of your room.

“Found it!” You chirped, plopping onto the seat next to Sans and holding the papers out for him to see.

“Choose the one you want,” You said as you took a sheet with pink and yellow flowers for yourself. He set his book down next to him, looking at the papers in your hand for a few moments, processing. Eventually he picked one with a pattern of small green and blue bamboo stalks.

“so… how does this work?” he asked, quietly fiddling with the paper.

You grabbed your computer from on the coffee table, bringing up Google. “We fold the paper using instructions to make different shapes and stuff. What do you wanna make?”

He looks at you.

…

“..what do _you_ wanna make?”

A little startled, you took a moment to think.

An idea popped into your head and you typed the keywords into google, waiting for the little loading bubble to finish before speaking.

“How about this?” You say, turning your computer slightly so Sans could see the colourful paper birds on screen. “It looks pretty simple.”

He nods.

You clicked the link to the instructions, and the both of you began.

…

This was a lot harder than you would’ve anticipated.

You and Sans had moved on from the birds after your many failed attempts and -Sans’ frustrating number of successful ones- to a little paper fox. Then a heart, then a box, then a frog…

If you were to step back and look at the two of you, sitting on the couch together, you would’ve seen two very different scenes. On Sans’ side he was surrounded by a small army of miniature multicolour paper animals and objects, more slowly being added to the collection as he peacefully made his way down the stack of paper.

Your side was a graveyard in comparison, littered with balled up wads of coloured paper, mocking your failure. In your hands was a fresh piece, a new victim which was already covered in lines from folds that you had aborted last minute.

You sighed. Very loudly and dramatically. You had pretty much given up at this point. Sans glanced over at you, nonverbally questioning you.

“How are you so good at this?”

He shrugged. “…patience.”

“Bullshit.” You mumbled, staring down at the paper in your hands.

…

“…c’mere.” Sans says, patting the spot next to him.

You scooched over, pushing some of your paper mess and his organised collection aside to get next to him.

To your confusion, he placed his hands over your much smaller ones and pressed himself closer to you.

_Fuck, he’s really close, why is he so close??_

“…look.” He murmured, and from your position you could hear his voice vibrate in his chest.

Using his hands to guide yours, he slowly started following the instructions. You felt kind of like a puppet, but you were too flustered to really care. You tried to focus on the movements, but he was so close to you, and he was really warm and smelled really nice and _why are you pining right now-_

“..done.”

You looked at your hands. Sitting peacefully was a small yellow swan.

“Oh.”

“…wanna do another?” He asked.

You thought for a few seconds, feeling the steady rise and fall of Sans’ chest (which made no sense considering he was a skeleton.)

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally from a fic idea but that was stinky so um posting it here uwu


	6. firework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans has his first kiss. Nothing more to say.

A kiss was something Sans had yet to experience.

He'd often heard kissing described as a firework, which in all honestly was something that steered him away from the activity. To him, fireworks were an annoyance, obnoxiously loud and spraying unneeded light and toxicity into the atmosphere.

On top of that, physical affection was just… gross. He had no want nor need for it, and so it never really came to mind.

Of course, that was until now. Until _you._

Your face, mere inches from his, the beautiful flush on your face and the loud thudding of your heart capturing his attention. One of your soft hands cupped his face, another was intertwined with his.

Silently, you moved closer, and your eyes lidded. Breathlessly, he followed. When your lips met, Sans expected fireworks. But he got something better.

At first, he didn’t really feel anything out of the ordinary, just the wary excitement he had felt leading up to the kiss. But then he started to focus. Focus on your quick, excited breaths, on how close you were suddenly pressed against him, on your scent, and the almost silent humming of your soul.

Then he started to reciprocate. His own soul began to buzz, finally catching up to what was going on, spreading a sweet warmth through him. The feeling was so wonderful he could feel it echo in every separate bone and phalange of his body. He moaned softly into the kiss and pressed himself up and closer to you, desperate for more.

Both of you collapsed onto the couch together, Sans ending up straddling your hips, the kiss only breaking for a few breaths before he kissed you again. He felt warm, a dull throb of pleasure and need pulsing from his soul, punctuating every press and sigh and touch.

This was nothing like a firework. This wasn’t flashy or obnoxious, or painfully toxic.

It was gentle. Warm. _Perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hELLO I'M BACK FROM THE VOID AHAHA
> 
> so like i lost literally all of my fic WIPs and then lost ALL of my motivation because of that :))
> 
> this kinda happened, so uh i hope you enjoy maybe whatever??
> 
> have a nice day/night :))

**Author's Note:**

> you know the drill, long time lurker first time poster
> 
> title is as implied, this will be drabbles and they will be very self indulgent  
> (note: each chapter is an individual mini story unless stated otherwise!!)


End file.
